Sunlight

Sunlight. Other then powering solar powered weapons made by yours truly, what good is it? The answer is: besides the previous reason, it's worthless. Today we find out why. 

First of all, if you've been reading my past blogs, then you should know that sunlight is actually giving dolphins a bad image in my eyes (Well, actually, sunlight is what is keeping them on the planet and out of a rocket heading for a black hole, but whatever). In short, sunlight streaks off their bodies when they break the surface of the sea, giving power to enemy soldiers' tanks and the like. But that's beside the point. Blog readers, when you go to the beach, some of you surf, some of you swim, and then the stupider Lemmings among you try to get a "tan" of all things to waste your time with.  And there are huge risks to "tanning"! You COULD get a nice tan,I suppose, but without sunscreen (A truly horrible invention, but it's not worth talking about), you will get a sunburn instead! And for those of you who don't know what a sunburn is, it's simply our creators' way of saying "Get off your lazy ass".  And think about it, Lemmings: it's called global WARMING. Haven't any of you thought that the cause of it might be the sun itself (Or did you somehow  miss the WARMING part)? But that isn't half the worst part of it. Like everything else in life, the sun will eventually
pass away. Which wouldn't really be that bad - there would be no more of that horrid season known as summer - except for the fact that when a star (Which "the sun" is) dies out, it leaves behind a black hole, that pulls in everything around it, be it astronaught, rocket ship, or PLANET!!! 

So, if any of you Lemmings are researchers studying space travel, get to work on a rocket ship that can travel to anougher universe! Otherwise, humanity will fall! Just remember these words when you next wake up to a sunny day: it may look pretty, but it will be our downfall one day. May you all have nightmares for weeks, Lemmings! 

Now if you want to get that rocket ship done in time, you'd better start... talking amongst yourselves!