Chocolate

Chocolate 

Chocolate. It is certainly one of the world's most horrific entities. Those sme of you misguided Lemmings try to hide it's true and disusting nature by filling it with wafer, peanut butter, or air bubbles (The last one being more recent then the other two), it doesn't change the fact that chocolate will eventually destroy us all. 

And the explanation to that statement is why I'm here today. So either, A: sit down with a cup of coffee, and get a dark chocolate bar from wherever you keep your candy, but if you don't have those and don't want to waste money on evil things, then B: start up your computer, open two different windows, go to Bing (Not Google, they're better, but if something is better, it means it's evil) and on one open a picture of black coffee, and on the other open a picture of un-shredded dark chocolate (Don't continue reading until you've done one of the previous, unless you have no computer, in which case you should chose C: [That is NOT a smile face] ask a trustworthy friend to loan you the fore mentioned items of evil, or D: [That may look like a unhappy face to you idiotic YouTube users, but it's not] just take my take my honest word for it [Just in case you don't have any friends]), and look at them closely. Unless you are in need of glasses, or forgot to put your strange half spheres known as "contacts" in your "beautiful" eyes this mourning, they should be about the same color: dark brown (Actually, the coffee should be kind of more black than brown, but whatever). And what does this mean? It means that chocolate is from the same hellish world that coffee originates from! "But surely it must be a coincidence!" you say. Well, here's something that might make you reconsider that statement: when "enjoying" a cup of hot coffee, it is not uncommon for a Lemming to have a chocolate item on the side. And think about it; those two evil monsters are no doubt relaying information between their squadrons (By their squadronS, I mean the squadron of coffee, and the squadron of chocolate)! And here's something to bring you back to reality: you might be able to bite right through chocolate ICE CREAM, but - as I recently have found out - the cocoa BEAN does not go down as easily. It's flavor is described as, and I quote: "Intense, and borders on bitter, since there no added sugar or cocoa butter (Or butter) as you are most likely used to when you consume commercial chocolate products." (Words from the Max: if you somehow find the intelligence to go on Google and find the place I quoted from, don't scroll lower than the quote, or you will most certainly die the next evening [And don't you DARE say I went to GOOGLE. I meant to write Bing]) And what does THAT tell us? It's showing us that, unlike their comrade hell beasts, coffee, chocolate will not go down without a fight! And if they're even more evil then coffee, one of the most un-blessed creations in the universe, nay, the cosmos, there is no questioning the fact they are a team of destruction (I must remember to recruit a Milkyway bar and a mug of Folgers coffee with lots of cream into my universe conquering armies) 

Fortunately, in ten years or so, coffee will be almost extinct! And how will that be possible? Why because of YOU, Lemmings! When you chop down coffee trees to make room for your abodes, you are raising chocolate costs to the point of when a Hershys chocolate bar will replace caviar as one of the most expensive edible items the world! But, sadly, chocolate's cousin, white chocolate, will live on (Looks like I might have to settle for a white chocolate Kit Kat). But remember, blog readers, enjoy your evil food items while they last, for they won't be around much longer. Oh, and the same thing goes for you. 

Talk amongst yourselves!