Shoes

Shoes. A bad habit even I, the great Maximilian Forge, struggle to overcome.

For years, shoes have seemed to be sincere, protecting our feet from rocks, mud, and, of course, rabid scorpions. But I, blog readers, know that one day, shoes will turn on us, and cause the downfall of humanity! Remember, that even though you cannot see it with your Lemming eyes, everyday little bits of you (you Lemmings call it dust) and many other things are coming off you! So when you break a plate seventy years from now, and put on your shoes that you got on the Internet, they will have no bottoms because you didn't see it said "used" (as in used by fifty other people) in the product description!  

And speaking of shoes and dust, every day your very shoes are kicking particles of the Earth into the atmosphere! And one day five thousand years  shoes will cause the very foundation of the planet to collapse! And your descendants will plummet to a firey doom! 

Do you really want that, Lemmings? Do you want to be blamed for the destruction of possibly all of mankind? ...I didn't think so. But this can be avoided! Lemmings, unit! Gather your shoes, and toss them to the wind (or, ship them to someone you cold, honest, snow-covered feet are better than warm, false, clean feet inside huge shoes that will cause the downfall of the planet. This statement might give you nightmares for the rest of your lives, but it's simply the truth. I leave you with that thought forever imprinted on your miniature brains.

Talk amongst yourselves!