Bananas

Today, we will be disguising one of mother nature's (What idiot came up with that, anyways? She's certainly not my mother) most horrid creations: the banana. 

Before we begin, here's a history lesson that historians (For you pitiful children that might be reading this, a historian is a idiot who has dedicated his life to finding the remains of  Lemmings long dead) have just recently discovered; a long time ago, in the times of the middle ages when the world was full of germs, people were knocking over buildings with trees, and everything was chaos (Basically it was a world in which I could easily become prime blogger on, excepting there were no computers), there was a kingdom called Banya, which had planted banana trees all over their kingdom, for they thought it was a holy fruit that gave them good luck in battle. And it seemed it did; those banana obsessed Lemmings won every battle they ever fought by knocking their opponents' feet out from under them with banana peels-- 

Okay, before we continue, let me just say the other two why bananas are evil: one, you Lemmings are continuously slipping on their peels in classic comedies (I say, isn't falling flat on your fragile little spines a little violent for a movie that's supposed to be a COMEDY?), and laugh at some poor actor who was payed hundreds of dollars expense, and second, bananas actually give off heat like miniature suns, and raise global warming risk. Now, back to the worst reason. 

But however, the cause of these victories eventually cause Banya's downfall. For one day, when one of the king's best servants was eating one of the yellow fruits, he suddenly noticed the small, black seeds inside. So he finished the banana, and planted one of the seeds. Soon, though, they all forgot about the strange seed. But one day, the ground around the seed was sucked away like a sink hole, and just what appeared in it's center? Nothing but a black hole! It had been a Sun Seed the servant had planted, and when it died, it became a black hole! The whole kingdom was sucked into the vortex, and then it closed behind it, and they never were seen again. 

Do you really want a black hole to appear every time a banana spoils? Would you really wish that on your family? if not, then go to a car store, buy an RV, find every evil banana you can, eat every single one, and then being them to me, so I can place them on every sidewalk in the world. Consider that my "thank you" for your troubles, and for you being thrown in jail when you're blamed. 

Talk amongst yourselves!