Coffee

 

Coffee. One of the planet's most common beverages. But, why and how does it give you energy? What cruel secret hides behind it's mask of beauty? 

Today, my loyal Lemmings, I will show you. First is the fact that it's true color is almost pitch black. For all we know, that could the the color of a battalion of liquid aliens, or a liquid monster from the depths of Hell, come to invade our bodies and take us out from the inside! Do not be fooled by the color they might change when you dump barrels of sugar or gallons of cream in them! It is simply hiding the true form of the monster that is coffee!  

Or, it could be a alien fluid put on Earth by U.F.O.s, that gives us energy at first, but in your later years overloads your system, causing you to combust! Or for all we know, it is slowly giving your cups a conscious mind, and then will manipulate them into destroying all human life on the planet! 

But, it would seem that some of you Lemmings already know the true form of the evil entity that is coffee, and have banned it from your homes. Blog readers, follow this example, and do away with the gallons of horrid coffee in your dwellings, and you might just be spared when disaster strikes! I will now leave you, so I can dump Faith Forge's new coffee can into the coffee filled trash. 

Talk amongst yourselves!