Tom Tita

Today, instead of helping YOU correct your mistakes, I am correcting one of MINE (However, this is something I don't do often; this is my first "mistake" in ten mouths). You see, while I was addressing the problem-- no, THREAT of the hideous evil that is the cat, I forgot to mention my personal example of the common cat's evil traits. Yes, at long last there is a problem in this world which I have witnessed, and seen face-to-face, eye-to-eye (Well, maybe not EXACTLY eye-to-eye, but I'm sure you get the point by now). Yes, blog readers, it's none other than Tom Tita.

The fact is, Lemmings, is that when people tell you that cats will one transform into monsters, aliens or other horrid beasts and over-throw the government,  it either means they are insane, experiencing hallucinations, writing a good horror story, or are reading my blogs. Truer words were never spoken. Cats ARE evil, they ARE going to over-throw the government, and they CAN transform into horrid things (That'll give some of you nightmares). And who do you think the under-cover leader of these horrible invaders from the darkest depths of evil is? None other than Tom Tita. I mean, really, Lemmings. First of all, those freaky rainbow lights. What is their secret? Let me tell you: they are OBVIOUSLY the most powerful lasers alien technology can make, set on very, very low power as a warning to all who come near! Next, that cat carrier is like a cat carrier from hell! I mean, really: IT'S PITCH BLACK!!!! What more proof do you need? It is, without a doubt, the evil general (Tom Tita, for all the idiots who don't get that "Double T" - as my pathetic brother, Lemming Forge calls him - is a evil alien leader)'s private spaceship, hidden away in it's secret hanger in the basement of the strange and insane Crazy Cat Lady's house, who must be one of the other alien generals in a human disguise, and that is why she has so many of the vile creatures around (And I suspect she called in my sister so her army could capture her, and bring her back to their home world. Sadly, however, they apparently failed).

Lemmings, I have tried to warn my clueless brother about this threat, but he doesn't believe me. Do not let these monsters fool you, as well! Cats are evil and vile creatures that read about all your secrets when you aren't looking, and will one day use them to destroy the world! I can report multiple people who have tried to warn you about the evil of cats, and yet you don't listen! Well, come back to your senses, blog readers! Get rid of your cats, and show "Tom Tita" that he can't control us anymore! If we take action now, we will win this war before it starts! Do not let these monsters win!

I leave you now, to talk amongst yourselves.