Cow Udders

A cow's udder. What a nauseating and horrid thing. Today, we find out why cow milk should be banned from the state (I mean other then the fact that cow udders are nauseating and horrid)

Here's the truth, Lemmings: long ago (At least, according to some unconfirmed information on a fake history website that I read about when I was five years old), the white liquid you idiotically call "milk" actually came from a fruit (No, Lemmings, not "coconut milk." REAL milk)! Then, one day, while I was in the super market, I looked one of the many brands of milk that we didn't buy, and - oh, the horror! - what did I see on that canister? A COW!!!!! NOT A FRUIT (Or vegetable, for that matter)!!!!! I quickly re-located that (False) history website (Only a few days later it was taken down), andI found out that in the times of Rome, cows were all pitch black, and were war animals. But they made the mistake of feeding them the milk fruit for energy! At first, all was well. But then, the cows suddenly began to turn white, with only spots of black left on them! And when the battle began, instead of having pathetic soldier lemmings ride them into battle, they ran to the milk fruit trees, and ate every last one! However, they suddenly realized that their stomachs couldn't digest so much milk! And so, it went to their utters, and to this day, we have to help them get all the milk out of them that THEY couldn't handle (Also, that's the website's excuse to why there's no more of these "milk fruits")

Why should WE have to help them with THEIR problems? It seems like a waste of time to me! If you agree, blog readers, then stop milking your cows, and start making them into hamburgers. And think about it: isn't it disturbing that you're drinking something that came out of an animal (Although some of you lemmings think it tastes fine, and know that utters are clean)?

Personally, I prefer SOY milk. For it appears that some of you slightly intelligent lemmings have found what the milk fruit has evolved into: the soy bean. I mean, really. It tastes great, it comes in different flavors, you can even put strawberry or chocolate syrup, and it still tastes gr-- OH *bleep*! Lemmings, forgive me! I was actually saying that I approve of something people actually LIKE!!! It must have been my pitiful brother, Maxo Lemming Forge! He must have brainwashed me in my sleep! Well, no more, Lemmings! Now I will lie, and say soy milk sucks, and that all milk must be wiped off the face of the Earth (But seriously, blog readers: spare the soy milk).

Talk amongst yourselves!